New Identities Emerging

Tarot Cards, open mic night and a breathwork story — Join Shelby & Khara as they move through the eclipses this season and share excerpts from their journals in their first full episode of Season 2.

While Shelby & Khara explore risk-taking and experimentation, they discuss the tension between financial anxiety and artistic expression, the power of living in the moment, and how to appreciate the beauty in personal evolution. When Shelby was out conquering her fears in an open mic night, Khara was flexing her intuitive muscles with regular tarot spreads to contemplate her reality.

Challenging the societal norms that often silence their inner voices, join Shelby & Khara in using tools like astrology, tarot, numerology and Human Design to reconnect with your authentic self.

Order the Identity Field Guide

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Transcript

Shelby Wagner:

0:02

Looking for Evidence is hosted by Khara Collins and myself, Shelby Wagner. We're two Voxer besties who were brought together via our fascination with human design. We use tools like astrology, enneagram or human design to better understand ourselves and tackle everyday challenges, and we love talking about it. So come on in, let the insights begin. Hello, hello, Khara, how's it going?

Khara Collins:

0:30

Great, I'm so excited for this episode.

Shelby Wagner:

0:34

I'm excited for some new things.

Shelby Wagner:

0:36

I’m also excited that we made it through the wild lunar eclipse full moon combo.

Khara Collins:

0:50

gosh yes, activating our whole chart, like with our nodes and everything. That's what it feels like, at least. Just a lot of realizations, a lot of emotions. It's all good, but I feel like this is the first one where I feel prepared for all of the things, even though it's still hard. Sometimes it's like the whole toolbox is ready, you know, yeah.

Shelby Wagner:

1:08

Yeah, it's weird because I remember late, a few days before it, reading all the things right, and then sometimes my brain and my line one is like, okay, am I making sense of any of this stuff, about what the Pisces this, and you know like what is actually happening, and I'm like I don't know if I have anything to let go of, I don't know if I need anything to revisit, and and then like come Monday morning, I'm like crying in my bed, like, and I'm like, oh, maybe this is it, this is, this is the letting go part. Maybe this is what we're doing.

Khara Collins:

1:43

So, pisces, the letting go part

Shelby Wagner:

1:46

right, oh, my goodness. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm excited, and those of you that are listening, we are going to experiment with something new, where we look back and find something in our journal that felt important, it felt like a clue, might felt like something to celebrate because we're moving forward, expanding whatever it is. And so today we each selected something that we want to, we want to share, we want to talk about and have you listen in on, who's going to go first?

Khara Collins:

2:20

Oh man, I was like thinking about this. I'm like you should go first.

Shelby Wagner:

2:31

Okay, I'll do that I'll be the manifester and I'll go first.

Khara Collins:

2:34

Look at you, go, lead us into it.

Shelby Wagner:

2:35

So yeah, so I was. You know I write pretty faithfully. Every day I have a stack of journals next to my bed because every now and then I like to go and look back and see what's going on in the past. But what I really wanted to share was my entry at the morning after I went to my first open mic storytelling session, and I think I'm just going to read it and then we'll see what comes next. September 17th, 2024. That's who I am the kind of person who steps outside their comfort zone.

Shelby Wagner:

3:14

I told the ancestral breathwork story last night that the American School of Storytelling, Would you believe. I snagged a spot to park right out front of the Kenwood, which is where my grandparents used to live. It was the cutest venue in an old brick building. Major, Mrs Maisel vibes, Cute little stage. I went on second. It was a small crowd but I knew that wasn't the point. I had a story to tell, to speak into the ether. I think I could tell more. Either way, I did something I've never done before, at 45. It's been a while since I've done that or that. I could say that, and so many synchronicities led to this moment the wind card, the nudge to meditate, my friend's invitation to breath work, ancestors communicating to me through Reiki and that breath session images seen, the urge to write about it, the nudge to share it. A Minnesota storyteller's post that led me to the open mic. The school, the parking spot, the joy initiated Make the impossible possible.

Khara Collins:

4:25

So that's what I wrote. I love this and I love how you list all the little signs that were present before this like kind of big events, and not that it was like some sold out arena, but just like it's this new step that you're taking, and I remember when we were talking about it too, it was like listening to it and just like you feeling the feelings and still like just flowing with it. It's just I love it and I feel like you're. Obviously your storytelling comes through with your writing and really puts you there with you and it's just so great. I love hearing, like, all the different angles through our boxers and now through your journal and you know your live experience of it. It's just really awesome that you have all these different ways to capture what happened and like recognize all the things that got you there yeah, I feel like this.

Shelby Wagner:

5:17

This entry feels very meta. It's like the entry within the entry, within the entry.

Khara Collins:

5:22

Yes, so many things.

Shelby Wagner:

5:25

It's definitely like when you see it like one of those moments where it's just like oh my God the lady with the algebra Right, and I love the opening, the kind of person who steps outside their comfort zone, and so that phrase came from a woman I used to work with, whom I rarely talk to, you know, messaging me on Instagram, you know, after I had shared some posts about the storytelling thing and pictures of the venue, and she just said simply something like you know, I love how you're always taking risks, like I'm just proud of how you do that, and you know, I was like very flattered and like I received the compliment.

Shelby Wagner:

6:05

But also I was like you know what, though I haven't taken a lot of risk lately, even though I do things that I think often other people admire and think are risky, but for me, you know, for me in that moment, reflecting and saying, well, even the identity field guide, like yes, I've never self-published a book, but I publish my writing every day, and I also did, you know, a reflection guide on the act of forgiveness and like printed those and sold those, but I haven't like completely had a new vulnerable experience in a long time, and I think that's why this storytelling moment that was in front of like 15 people, right, like very low stakes, felt so important is that I was really stepping out in a way that I hadn't before.

Khara Collins:

7:01

And.

Shelby Wagner:

7:01

I love that. I caught that.

Khara Collins:

7:02

I was like it was was a small crowd, but I knew that wasn't the point yeah, I love this whole concept of comparing, like your own inner risk taking with, like what, the other people's perception of like what's risky and like what an important concept to consider when you're making decisions, like because things could be considered risky to somebody else. Like that are just your regular day-to-day steps, you know. So that's that's a really great point to like recognize, because it's something that I don't know, you kind of have to check in with yourself, especially if things aren't going the way that you want or maybe it's like a big change and it does require that risk taking, like taking inventory on yourself on what that might look like.

Shelby Wagner:

7:46

Yeah, and what does, what does risk taking look like for you? Because I think it's easy to say like I'm doing all these things right, universe, and why am I getting nothing in return?

Khara Collins:

7:56

And it's like it's textbook risk taking. You need to go outside the box a little.

Shelby Wagner:

8:00

Yeah, but it's like, but is it risky for you? Is it? Is it going above and beyond for you? Is it outside your comfort zone for you? And if the answer is no, then no wasn't the point. And I say I had a story to tell to speak into the ether.

Shelby Wagner:

8:26

And I think that other piece there is is checking in with yourself from time to time on what is that definition of success? And as you go to take risk, whatever that risk looks like for you to then also have an appropriate measure of success. I could have easily been like the night was dumb, hardly anyone showed up, but instead I knew the measure of success was getting on that stage, using my voice to tell this story of something pretty amazing that had happened to me and no matter who was listening the fact that I was there, that I drove on a Monday night when I could have been sitting on my sofa, which I definitely thought about, and I did it, have been sitting on my sofa, which I definitely thought about, and I did it, and I shared a story and I put those words out into the world and 15 other people took those words with them in some way.

Khara Collins:

9:13

Wow, what a powerful visual. Like 15 people, that's not like a small number. Yeah, everybody attentively listening to you, that's pretty big.

Shelby Wagner:

9:22

Right, and I think about the stories that I got to hear that night, right. So five other people told stories, one of which you know. They all were great and they all brought me on their own different journey, but, like one of them did like capture me in a way, and a person who was sharing that, they got up there and did more of an improvisational story and in the end they were like I'm on stage because I want to be seen, not because I want to perform, and it was just so compelling and it just reminded me that even in the way that I show up, sometimes it can be very simple to me and how impactful it might be to someone else, and so that's why we always just have to follow, as I call them, the nudges you know, the breadcrumbs, because you just don't know what that impact will be. That's not up to you.

Khara Collins:

10:14

Wow, yeah, what a like concept to let go of that. And the whole concept of like checking your success, like what it means to you. Wow, yeah, what a like concept to let go of that. And the whole concept of like checking your success, like what it means to you, and checking in along the way especially when it's something you haven't done before or something new, where you don't really know what the next step is, I found like throughout my life I've done that like a few different times and it's like such a relief to go to like your original marker and either see like you're making your way towards that or maybe, if you're not, like realizing you've already made it, if you just shift your perspective just a little bit.

Khara Collins:

10:45

You know cause it changes you when you're taking these different risks and, like you know, doing things you've never done before. It stretches you in different ways. So it kind of opens up your mind and allows for these different perspectives to come in and maybe shift your version of success. That's so good, yeah.

Shelby Wagner:

11:02

And I love that, the expanding perspectives and I feel like that's something I haven't had access to in a while and I feel like just putting myself in that new space of the storytelling thing you know, allowed me to also receive it, allowed me to receive new perspective, new stories, meet new people, new humans and to remind myself that I need that as well, because I can get a little insulated in my like independent world or staying in the same networking circles and things like that. So, yeah, I love that little thread there too.

Khara Collins:

11:37

Yeah, this is just such a great. It's so well-written too Like the whole experience is amazing within the way you write it. It just like makes it so nicely captured, like just to relive it every time you read it.

Shelby Wagner:

11:50

Yeah, thank you.

Shelby Wagner:

11:51

Yeah, and I love, I don't know, I love that I ended. I forgot that. I ended with the synchronicities piece. It's something I've wanted to like talk about this week and I just didn't find the right time or way to dig into that. And it was like last week, I think, my husband said I was talking to him about the nudge to do the storytelling. He's like you say that a lot like you get a nudge. He's like what is that? I don't, I don't have that. And I was like I don't know.

Shelby Wagner:

12:20

I you know, and I got to thinking about the other day and I'm like, well, it could, someone could call it coincidence, but I feel like I'm presented signs, I'm presented little whispers or when I open Instagram, you know like I saw a post about this open mic night first from a organization that I've followed for a few months and I have never seen a post from them ever, not to mention upon opening Instagram. And yet I saw it three times and it's like so maybe I'm supposed to go, and I don't know if it's real or not, but I know that I enjoy living my life that way. I enjoy imagining that the spirit world is continuing to say look over here, move this way, and that if I'm present I'll be led to the right next thing. And now that life is always easy and good and not hard. But I don't know what that is and so I loved that. I ended with noticing, and I'd even say, that there are more synchronicities leading up to the win card. But to see that transp transpired like within 30 days really, from the moment I pulled that wind card from the tarot deck.

Shelby Wagner:

13:43

Like two days later, I, a friend, said, hey, come to this breathwork class. And then, like a week later, someone said, hey, look at this newsletter from Liz Gilbert. The theme of the week is ancestors. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, I just have had two experiences where my ancestors are trying to reach me. Do you think it's a coincidence? Someone now is telling me, um, hey, here's this thing, and it's all about seeing what your ancestors have to tell you and write a letter and ask them what they want. You know what they want to tell you and you know. And then moving from there to going like, hey, this has led to some really cool writing, maybe this is a story. And then the open mic, you know. So it's just, I don't know. I don't know if it's real or not, but, like I said, I know I enjoy living my life that way.

Khara Collins:

14:34

Yeah, I feel like listening to you talk about it and just knowing. Also, your human design chart and the specific gates we just spoke about in your spleen related to intuition and how that plays into being able to pick up on these nudges and also the expanding perspectives. Like those are two extremely necessary components of co-creating with the universe. Like you have to be open to it and you have to be able to like, listen to yourself enough to take those risks along the way.

Shelby Wagner:

15:04

Yes, yes, that part you have to be able to listen to yourself enough to take those risks.

Shelby Wagner:

15:09

I mean, that is gold, and I feel like we just talked about that in Randy Lee's call this week.

Shelby Wagner:

15:16

Someone else was sharing that you get to a point where you don't trust your intuition because other people have told you like what you're doing is wrong or it's not accepted or it's not the norm, and so you soon get to a point where you just are so good at ignoring it.

Shelby Wagner:

15:33

And I am really grateful that I've been on this journey pretty focused for the last four years of remembering who I am really, leaning into all my talents and gifts and leveraging wisdom like astrology, numerology and human design to go like yeah, but no, like who am I? Help me find more words right, and not in a way of tell me who I am, but help me remember because I can feel it. There's still a sense there, there's still a pulse. I just don't have words for it anymore because that has been almost erased from me, you know, or never even mirrored back to me, and so I don't know how to recognize it. But now I do, and I think that is why maybe it's hard for some people to understand what is a nudge and how do you know that that's a thing to follow, Because now I feel pretty rooted and confident in in that feeling, in that sensation, in that community kind of communication that I sense in my body. I don't know, it's a pretty wild thing.

Khara Collins:

16:39

Yes, the whole deconditioning process is like such a concept to learn about, and that was a lot of what that Randy Lee call was about. I mean, it was a deconditioning call and I love the part where you talk about, you know, like letting go of all that and just like being able to listen to yourself. And it requires you putting down all these pieces and masks that you put on based on what other people expect or what the system is that you're in. You know, just, I just think about, like you know, my experience in the corporate world and like how many masks there were like there. But then, even prior to that, like growing up and like in religion and whatever else, like whatever your parents' beliefs are, like taking all these things on that aren't necessarily you, and then getting to a point in your life where it's just like what am I even doing and who am I? And here we are.

Shelby Wagner:

17:34

So true, so true, true. That was really enjoyable. That was really cool to explore um. I'm curious what is your entry?

Khara Collins:

17:45

I just have to add before we jump into mine like this is a like. First of all, you yourself are such an embodied example of like how to use your intuition and take these risks, but how catalyst for conversation perfectly captures, like everything about you. Like that's what just happened, you know, and it's just really cool.

Shelby Wagner:

18:09

I love that, and I love because it took me a long time to come to that business name and I wanted something that I felt like I could grow into and be able to move within. It wouldn't box me in and to be an entity and to be a person who's sparking conversation. Maybe one day I won't want to, I don't know, but for now it's like I love that and I love that I can. It allows me to talk about so many subjects and and move across so many planes. So I received that and thank you.

Khara Collins:

18:47

Yes, also, like as you were talking, I was just like envisioning like a storytelling workshop or a storytelling circle, like hosted by you, because you're such a great example of like how it could, how it could go, you know just a little nugget to think about.

Khara Collins:

19:04

We'll see. It would be cool if we knew of a platform that could host you. Oh man, coming soon. Yes, okay, mine, I don't know. I'm like maybe I should have edited it down, but it's kind of long.

Khara Collins:

19:24

But it's unlike Shelby, I kind of sporadically will journal and I do it. I mean, I always have something, at least one thing every month, but normally it's like every week or every other week maybe, and it's something I want to develop more of a practice of. But lately it's just been me trying to capture everything that's happening because it feels like it's all at once, things are exploding into view. So this is one of those exploding into view entries where I'm just trying to like write it all down and figure it out. And it started this is from August 17th this year and I decided to take a inventory of the year so far to begin with, and what I wrote down was quit, my job went to Sedona, went to Palm Springs, spring break with Luca, summer with Luca and I listed all the things we did podcasting and meeting my friends' twins and then I started thinking about, like, what I wanted to do for the rest of the year and I decided to draw tarot cards for them. So the first one I put continue podcasting and the tarot card that I drew for it was strength, with the number eight, and it said time to be confident and courageous, make changes, take chances, feel reassured. You can make the right choices for yourself. The number two was start a book club, and I got the page of wands. Follow impulses and enthusiasms. Channel enthusiasm into whatever comes your way. Say yes to impulses and opportunities. It doesn't matter if you don't know how things will turn out. Take a chance and see what's next. You can already see the theme right. I love it. And then I have start.

Khara Collins:

21:14

Some sub stack Tarot card was 10 of pinnacles, reversed. Money isn't everything. Do you want to work all the time just to feel rich? Are you fighting too hard for something you don't really want? Is it what you want or are you seeking security? And then there was a card that fell out while I was shuffling and it was the magician reverse and it says you're letting something hold you back from achieving your desires. Ditch the excuses and get out of your own way. It's better to try and fail than to not try at all. Find that self belief and trust that you have the tools and talents to start to use and start to use them. Stay true to yourself. And then this is my entry like writing about it. I'm like, wow, the cards are so on point. They're always on point. I swear Sometimes I don't fully reflect on the cards and I write down my thoughts, but today I really wanted to write and was having a hard time getting started, so I figured I would work on my intentions and see what came up. In tarot I feel both seen and called out, as usual. This morning, as I was taking a signature daytime bath, I listened to Chris Corsini's Full Moon and Aquarius workshop and immediately had to hit pause and take notes and reference my chart.

Khara Collins:

22:25

The past three years I've been going through what I'm calling an identity emergence, where I'm shedding the old pieces of me and discovering or remembering pieces that have been uncovered or forgotten. Ps Interjection from my journal entry. Shelby and I didn't discuss what we were sharing today, like we talked about, like the timeline of where it was. It's so funny how they're so similar. Okay, sometimes I beat myself up for not knowing what I want to do next, but I think for me that is part of the point not knowing I'd be thinking I know my whole life, when really I know what I should be doing. What might happen if I stopped shitting myself and started following the nudges and desires that came up, without expectation or money or anything attached? This whole time I have spent tens of thousands of dollars diving into the depths of myself and learning new modalities and systems. I'm certainly not an expert in any, but all of the different courses, mentorships, workshops or communities that I have joined have helped me see myself in a way that I couldn't before. It feels good to have created my own learning path, a path that can't necessarily be found in a traditional schooling setting, one that I built myself by following my desires.

Khara Collins:

23:39

I feel like I've been able to appreciate my journey more and more recently because I am reflecting on how far I have come and how much I have come like gonna cry, reading stuff. Um, this is just a perfect example of like journaling and how it just like really helps you like see yourself. Even when you look back, it's like I'm so proud of her and it was like two weeks ago, oh, my god. Okay, I feel like I have been able to appreciate my journey more and more recently because I am reflecting on how far I've come and how much I have grown and the impact it has had on me not only me but everyone in my circle. It's really exciting and eye-opening to be able to see yourself and get this perspective you maybe wouldn't have had had you not let yourself slow down.

Khara Collins:

24:24

Some of the valuable things that have come from these three years quality time with my son has increased exponentially. Choosing not to pursue a job this summer really allowed me to soak up this awesome time during my son's life. He just turned eight and I feel like we're hitting a whole new level for us both. He is definitely no longer a little baby and on the very edge of being a little kid. It's so fun to be able to support him and what he is interested in and see what he comes up with. Quality time with Phillip we have basically had a three-year honeymoon. Like who does that? We do, and then my own self-discovery and growth and amazing friendships. Like without that I don't know that I could have gotten this far. Like we talk about all the time. Like you and I, shelby. Like how this relationship has really just helped both of us grow. Like so much more deeply because we get somebody like to witness it, you know.

Shelby Wagner:

25:19

Absolutely.

Khara Collins:

25:24

Wow, didn't know I had that in me.

Shelby Wagner:

25:26

I'm just kidding.

Khara Collins:

25:27

That's amazing. It's like it's really something to like be like for me, a type of person who's always like trying to be better and focusing on like things that need to improve, and shifting to this whole like oh my god, look how different I am. Let's think about all the ways that I've grown and the little things that I've done to like help me get here. Like it's really overwhelming and that's like the shift that I've been integrating is seeing the good and everything and I'm really good at doing that for other people, but but for myself, not the case.

Shelby Wagner:

26:00

Yeah, well, and that's why I like journaling such a beautiful practice too, right, because it is like a gift to yourself to come back to these words, right, as you're getting emotional reading them out loud too, which I think is it's a whole nother level of processing, right, just like me telling the story is, when you put your voice to those words, they resonate through your body differently than when you're reading and writing them, like they're tapping into a whole different, just part of your being and your heart, and you can just feel it. And it's like a little gift to you to celebrate all the work that you've done. And I love hearing what I feel like is a theme and maybe you can tell me I'm right or wrong but that this time has not been so much about becoming more. It's like letting things fall away, right, like it's not about adding on more things, but letting things fall away so you can appreciate, like the goodness, that's already here.

Khara Collins:

27:02

Yes, exactly, it goes back to that whole deconditioning, like letting go of all the shoulds and, like you know, get betters and all that, and it's been a whole like. I think that's why it's taken so long, because it's just been so deeply in there that, you know, learning all these different mind-blowing concepts too about like I don't know just the quantum field and astrology and like all these kind of out there things. It's pretty extreme and I feel like the pendulum is finally like slowing down a little bit and I'm like able to keep up with it and kind of see everything like flowing and how it's all connected and it's just it's really exciting because this is the shit that I live for, like seeing the patterns give it, but it's just it's so cool, like I'm just so grateful that I'm finally at this point, cause it's like for so long I just felt like, oh my God, I'm still not there. And now I'm just like, wow, I've been here the whole time, been here the whole time.

Shelby Wagner:

28:06

Yes, I love that, and I love the cards reflecting back to you, the tarot cards reflecting back to you, like just that theme of you know, go for it, take a chance, you know, it's better to try and fail than not try at all and to just experiment, be playful, like, what do you have to lose, you know, by being creative and sharing your expression. And it also reminds me of something I just saw Chris Corsini say the other day about, like, don't think about the money, because that's just getting you caught up into some cycle of lack Right, and like, from the sub stack perspective of go out there and write and express yourself and don't get caught up in. Should I charge? How much should I charge? Is this the thing I want to make money off of? Like, just start writing, you know.

Shelby Wagner:

28:59

And that just applies to so many things, I think, especially when we get these intuitive hits to do something that we like get in our way, myself included, by going like, what do I do with this? How do I, you know, how do I make money off this? Is this a thing, is this a business? And it's like, oh my God, just write the post already. Is this a business? And it's like, oh my God, just write the post already.

Khara Collins:

29:19

Yes, oh my God, this is so relatable, it is so true.

Khara Collins:

29:29

It's like how many times have I gotten caught up in my head and like not done something because I've talked myself out of it? Yeah, and I love that you brought up the whole like money piece of it too, because that was that's been a big part of my deconditioning and I don't feel like I'm done, but you know, just tying every like my whole worth and identity to money almost, and just really releasing that this past three years. And right now I feel like I'm at a point where I definitely don't get the anxiety that I used to, just trying to think about where the next money will come, cause it's like literally never enough. You know, like when am I ever going to feel secure, like right, and I'm just like I don't know how to bridge that gap yet. Like how do you bridge the gap between, like flowing and receiving money? Like I'm doing all the things and I'm trying not to look at it too hard. Do I need to look at it less? I'm trying not to look at it too hard?

Shelby Wagner:

30:21

Do I need to look at it less Well, and I've found for myself in the money part right now too is is I get so caught up in the fact that more isn't coming, that I'm not present to the reality that I don't actually need more right now?

Khara Collins:

30:38

Exactly Like what a concept?

Shelby Wagner:

30:41

It's like what is going unpaid today, like what belly is going unfilled, what more you know like and for me, none of that is true.

Shelby Wagner:

30:51

I am able to pay my bills, I'm able to get groceries, and so it's like all this future thinking of things that I'd like to do that get me caught in this cycle of but I don't have enough money to do those those future things. And it's like but if you're not going to do it today, if you're not going to remodel the kitchen today, then why are you worrying about that today, right now, right now of all the things you know, and it's hard. And it's hard especially when you're in a season of, of shifting and transformation, because, you know, most of us have at some point have had jobs where we're used to that steady paycheck and that means something to us as far as security and as far as planning and future planning. And it is a trip. I don't think there's like any one easy answer and everybody comes to that with their own money, experiences and things like that. But it is, it is challenging, but it also it's work to make sure it doesn't get in your way of creating the things you're here to create.

Khara Collins:

31:59

Yes, I love that the answer is presence at least you know, like, and it's so true. I found myself in the same conclusion, like pretty recently, where I'm just like, have to remind myself of that all the time. Just I have everything I need right now. There's no reason for me to be worrying about tomorrow or six months from now or three years from now, like anything can happen between those times even tomorrow Like I can get a phone call that could change my life or meet somebody.

Khara Collins:

32:27

And you know it's just staying open to that and realizing that that's what could happen. It's like a whole new, like just perspective that you have to kind of develop, or more like a belief, you know, like a little bit more integration than just you know hearing it once. It's like act, actively, practicing daily. Yeah.

Shelby Wagner:

32:52

I love your phrase and part because it has the word identity in it. But I love your phrase identity emergence, and I can't help but think there is some piece of art within you waiting to come through with that title.

Khara Collins:

33:11

Oh my God, dude, this is crazy Because before you, even when I wrote that down, I was like, oh my god, my art all leading up to this has been a lot of like spiritual focused stuff or like just more subconscious kind of art, and a lot of the art that I was doing at the beginning of this was like butterflies and cocoons and caterpillars and like that's what I don't know what makes me think of when I hear that is just like that butterfly, like going through the goo, like stepping out and spreading these beautiful wings, and it just it feels like I'm just beginning to like step out a little bit. You know, like after being in the goo for so long, it's like, hey, you don't have to be in the goo forever, you know that right. But I love this. Like I haven't made a lot of art since that like series that I did and yeah, I am excited to see like what comes through next because it seems for me personally that my art has a somewhat predictive quality to it and actually it's.

Khara Collins:

34:15

I've experienced it with other people too, but I just haven't really I've been scared to practice that because it just seems too wild of a concept. Years they all kind of point to this whole, like transformation and death and rebirth, like cycle, and it's just, it's wild and I maybe it's not that like crazy to like put that together through these pieces, but for me it's just like at the time it wasn't like I was thinking that, you know, and it's just one of those, I guess, art therapy moments where you can like look at your work and be like, hmm, this is what this means to me, just kind of like you examine your definitions of success and risk-taking.

Shelby Wagner:

35:09

Yeah, absolutely.

Khara Collins:

35:11

Well, I can say I'm loving the new format.

Shelby Wagner:

35:17

Good, I think it just led to some really great conversation and just the ability to integrate and further. You know, just understand, cause, like I said, sometimes I write things and I come back and I'm like, oh, this sounds really profound, like who wrote this?

Khara Collins:

35:34

It's like oh, that was me last week.

Shelby Wagner:

35:36

And then that piece of being able to give voice to it I think is really powerful too and give some time to reflect on, yeah, what did I mean in that sentence? And like where did that come from? Because often I write my journal, I don't do a ton of explaining, but I can remember like what prompted that sentence. You know, like make the impossible possible was, I think, what Chani was saying in the week for the astrology that week, and so I just like had put that little quote there. So, yeah, so it's fun to kind of revisit it and really integrate the wisdom, because there usually is a lot of goodness in them. So this was wonderful.

Khara Collins:

36:17

Yes, and I just want to. We can wrap it up with this, because this is crazy and not really that crazy because clearly I've shown you the cards and they are always spot on, but before the call I drew a card and it was the hermit reversed. Do you want to hear what it said? Yes, okay, a reversed hermit can mean you are withdrawing parts from parts of your life too much or overdoing things in some way. It can point to a lack of connection with other people or being too isolated or cut off from feelings, or have you exhausted yourself by burning the candle at both ends? Anxiety? Embracing the hermit state of reflection should be done with care. It doesn't mean adding to the stress by overthinking things. The idea is to clear your mind. In order to find clarity and focus, go for long walks, write down your thoughts and feelings or meditate.

Shelby Wagner:

37:11

The end.

Khara Collins:

37:12

No, I'm just kidding.

Shelby Wagner:

37:13

I love it, it's crazy, perfect place to end. Write it down, meditate, get outside.

Khara Collins:

All of our favorite things.

Shelby Wagner:

All of our favorite things. Thank you for joining us for this episode of Looking for Evidence. We hope this conversation gets you curious about the evidence showing up in your everyday life. Till next time.

This was a 6-2 Studio production. Find us at six-two.studio for all your creative sound needs.